Unity ceremony: a wedding guide

Your wishlist

Answer these before you meet anyone.

• Which unity ritual speaks to you?

  None is more traditional than another — the unity candle is an American custom from the second half of the 20th century and in no church's service book; a Catholic parish may keep it out of the church, so ask yours.

• Where would you like the pieces to come from?

  Heirloom pieces often carry the point of the ritual.

• Who would you like to take part beyond the two of you?

What to ask each one

• Where are the pieces coming from?

  A parent's candlesticks or a family cup carries the point of the ritual with it.

How it’s usually priced

Usually priced as one flat amount.

Possible extras: Ritual pieces, Keepsake (frame, box, display).

What you settle once booked

• Which unity ritual?

  Each form says the same thing a different way — two flames to one, two sands blended, hands bound with a cord, a ribbon or a strip of kente, one cup shared. The couple's choice; none is more traditional than another.

• Who takes part beyond the two of you?

  Blended-family sand ceremonies give each child a color; the unity candle's two tapers are often lit by the couple's mothers, or by any parent; ring warming passes the rings through every guest's hands.

• Where in the ceremony does it fall?

  Ring warming is the exception — it starts early so the rings finish their journey before the exchange.

• Music while the ritual happens?

  The ritual is quiet by nature; music or narration keeps guests inside the moment instead of watching a pause.

• Who sets the unity table and clears it after?

The day-of sheet

Confirm arrival, finish, who to call, access, a meal, and what is due.

Across the whole day

Choose which moments to include.

• Unity table set